


There's Always Trouble in the Family

by spn_fam17



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Resurrected John Winchester, Sam and Dean Winchester - Freeform, Season/Series 15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:27:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27201088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spn_fam17/pseuds/spn_fam17
Summary: As the battle against Chuck grows closer, everyone is preparing for Billie's next step for Jack. However, Billie informs Sam and Dean they need to resolve something from their past to help prepare themselves. Having no idea what it could possibly be, the boys are shocked to see a familiar face: John Winchester.Set after 15x13
Comments: 29
Kudos: 103





	1. Expect the Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> Slight AU to SPN universe. In this world, John did not travel from 2003 to season 14’s Sam, Dean, and Mary. Therefore, the boys haven't seen their father since he died. 
> 
> Been planning this short story for a while now! Excited to finally start posting it! Hope you all enjoy!

Sam was typing away on his laptop in the library. He was attempting to look for a potential case. Cas and Jack were in the kitchen talking and laughing. It was honestly music to Sam’s ears to hear the kid’s laughter. While Jack getting his soul back had been rough due to his guilt and pain, things were slowly getting better. The boys had a long conversation with him and were able to find some peace after everything that had happened. It was just nice to all be more like a family again.

Dean was sitting across the table from Sam, shoving handfuls of fries into his mouth. Sam didn’t know how his brother was breathing as he continued inhaling more fries and some of his cheeseburger. 

Since they were waiting for Billie’s next instructions, they decided a case might be a good idea so as to keep busy. Hunting monsters was their bread and butter, anyway. So, Sam continued searching through news article after news article for some semblance of their kind of weird. So far, he had found a whole lot of nothing. 

He sighed, feeling disappointed. “You good ov’r th’r?” Dean attempted to talk with his mouth full, but luckily after dealing with Dean’s eating habits for thirty-seven years, Sam could decipher what was actually asked. 

“Yeah. Just can’t seem to find any cases whatsoever.”

Sam looked up from his laptop to his brother, who had finally put the burger down. Dean raised his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side. “Guess even the monsters want us to take a break.”

Sam rolled his eyes and huffed a laugh. “Yeah, sure. Cause they would rather us have a beer than rip our faces off.”

Dean shrugged his shoulders, attention returning to the food in front of him. “Whatever. I’m not complaining right now.” He then shoved more fries into his mouth. 

Sam shook his head at his brother. “Dude, the food won’t just disappear. You don’t have to suck it all up like a vacuum cleaner.”

It was Dean’s turn to roll his eyes. “Ha, Ha, Ha. Very funny. Listen, you might not care, but I don’t want it getting cold. Plus, I’m starving.”

Sam laughed at that. Dean had literally just had two slices of apple pie about three hours earlier. There was absolutely no way he was truly “starving.”

“I feel like I’m intruding on this scintillating conversation.”

Sam’s eyes shot across the room to land on a figure. It was Billie, who was slowly moving towards them. Of course, she had her handy-dandy scythe in her hand, as well. 

Sam stood up from his chair and noticed Dean get up, too. His brother was the first to speak. “What are you doing here? You have the next step for Jack?”

Billie moved her eyes over Dean, like he amused her. It sent shivers down Sam’s spine. When Billie was a reaper, he was never really afraid to stand up to her. But now, with the power and title of Death, it made him want to take a step away from her. Being the almighty Death is pretty daunting, especially to the two humans she had originally wanted to throw away in the Empty.

“I’m actually not here for the kid. He will be needed soon. I’m actually here for the two of you.”

Sam knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. That couldn’t be good. “What do you need us for?”

Sam could feel Dean’s eyes on him, probably thinking of whatever horrible scenario this could be that could endanger his little brother. Sam only figured that because that was exactly what he was doing in regard to his older brother. He would protect Dean. Always.

Billie smiled as she looked between Dean and himself. “Well, you see, you both need to be at your best to play your role in this upcoming battle. And you’re not. Almost, but not at your full capacity, you could say.”

Sam didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about. Dean and he had been pretty good recently, with all things considered. With Jack back, Cas and Dean talking again, and a plan to stop Chuck, everything seemed a little better. 

Dean’s words pulled Sam from his thoughts. “We don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Death herself rolled her eyes at Dean Winchester. “You two have one thing from your past you need to deal with to make yourselves ready for this fight. Call it ‘unfinished business.’ Once you take care of it, your soul and spirit will be prepared.”

Sam’s mind was whirling at her words. Unfinished business? He had no clue what she was talking about. It was like she was describing them as ghosts wandering in the bunker trying to get out of the veil. “I still don’t understand.”

Billie walked past Sam to the other side of the table, making him turn to continue facing her. “Of course you don’t. I will give you twenty-four hours to work through the things you need to, and that’s all. I suggest you use your time wisely.”

Dean’s voice boomed in the library, frustration and aggravation enveloping each syllable spoken. “What the hell are we supposed to do in those twenty-four hours?!”

The eyes of Death were turned sharply over to Dean, like daggers ready to slice into him. Sam felt another shiver go down his spine. 

“First off, you do not speak to me that way. And second, you have unfinished business with someone who is no longer living. As keeper of all souls, I am permitting this one be revived for only twenty-four hours. Then, they will be dead again. Them’s the rules.”

Suddenly, Billie was gone. The place she once stood was empty space again. Sam looked over to Dean, who appeared angry, confused, and scared all at the same time. “Dean?”

Dean’s eyes shot to Sam. He put a mask of indifference on, concealing the emotions he was once expressing. “Sam, do you know what she’s talking about?”

Sam looked to the ground for a second, deep in thought. He had some idea of her plan based on what she had just said. “I think she’s bringing someone we had lost back to life for a day. She wants us to work out whatever with them, and officially that will make us ready to take on Chuck. At least, that’s what I think.”

Dean shook his head. “Who the hell is she gonna bring back? We have a lot of dead people in our past, man. I don’t feel like there’s anyone I need to resolve things with.”

Just as Sam was about to respond, he noticed movement in the corner of the room behind his brother. He ran as fast as he feet could carry him around the table, pulling out his gun from his waistband, aiming it at the mysterious figure. He noticed Dean had followed his pursuit, raising his own gun up to the intruder.

Dean’s voice rose to a powerful bark as he yelled, “Who are you?”

“Dean? Sammy?”

Sam recognized that voice anywhere. He hadn’t heard it in so long. Used to hear it almost daily for twenty years of his life. 

“Dad?”

Out from the shadows came John Winchester. He looked almost exactly the same as he did before he died. He had an army green t-shirt on with a denim button down over it, his favorite pair of blue denim jeans, and his normal pair of boots. 

Sam gaped at the man standing in front of him. He thought this was a dream, but it all felt too real. His father was here, alive. Or was he?

Dean moved a step closer. “Dad? Is that really you?”

John looked about his surroundings curiously, and then aimed his gaze at Dean. “Yeah, it’s really me.”

Sam spoke up, saying, “Wait, Billie brought you back?”

John looked over to Sam, eyes making direct contact with his own. Sam saw so much behind them: guilt, pain, confusion, grief, relief, and happiness. 

“Yes, son. She did. She told me I’d have one day with you both and then I would go back to Heaven to be with Mary.”

The mention of his mom’s name almost brought tears to his eyes. Sam missed her so damn much. He nodded at John’s answer.

Dean’s voice filled the air again. “Wait, what do you last remember?”

John looked down at the floor. “I remember the hospital. Then, helping out with Yellow Eyes. That’s about it.”

So, he remembered the last time he had seen them. Then, it hit Sam all at once. That was about thirteen or so years ago. 

“What year is it now? I know it isn’t close to when I last saw you boys. You’re much older now.”

Sam softly spoke, “Um, it’s, uh, 2020.”

John’s eyes widened, thoughts seeming to reel at that statement. “Wow. Okay.”

His eyes continued skirting around the room, taking in his surroundings. Sam honestly couldn’t believe it. His dad was back. Only for 24 hours, but back nevertheless. Not lying on the floor of a hospital, body unmoving-

“You okay, dad?” Dean’s voice snapped Sam out of his head and back to the present. John shifted his gaze over toward Dean. “Yeah, son. It’s just a lot to take in.”

Sam nodded his head, looking at the ground. Yeah, it really was a helluva lot to take in. So much had happened since their father last saw them. Sam had absolutely no clue how he would react to what all they had been through. Honestly, there was a twinge of fear that their dad would be disappointed in them. Sure, they literally saved the world countless times at this point, but unfortunately, they were the ones to screw it all up in the first place. Him bringing about the first apocalypse with Lucifer, plus the demon blood. Removing the Mark from Dean, freeing the Darkness. And who could forget their current fiasco they were in against god himself. 

Plus, how many times they died. The pain and suffering they went through over the past fourteen years without their father. Damn, their dad had missed a lot. How would he react to all of it? 

And to top it all off, Sam couldn’t get over the fact he didn’t speak to his dad before he died. He just went to grab some coffee, and the next thing he knew, he saw his own father’s lifeless body lying on the cold tile floor, skin like ice having matched the floor’s temperature when Sam had grabbed him, screaming for help. 

Sam suddenly found it really difficult to stand anymore. He started swaying to the side, grabbing the table in front of himself to keep from face-planting on their floor. He’d been zoned out, the conversation between Dean and their dad foreign to him. Once he was able to snap back to reality, he tried to catch up with whatever they were discussing.

“- been hunting still. Still continuing the family business and all.”

Dad was nodding his head. “So, where are we anyways?” He was gesturing to their surroundings. “This sure as hell isn’t a normal motel room.”

Sam huffed out a laugh. Dean answered, “This is called the Men of Letters bunker. It’s our home now.”

Sam looked over to his brother and smiled. Home. He never believed he would ever find someplace to truly call his own home, other than the Impala. But, here he was, living in an underground bunker. And it was their home.

“Men of what now?”

Sam jumped in, “Men of Letters. They were a secret society that gathered knowledge of all things supernatural. They were, as they put it, ‘chroniclers of all that which man does not understand.’ But, they did tons of research on monsters, demons, and literally everything we have ever fought!”

John furrowed his brows. “I’ve never heard of ‘em. Figured something like that would’ve been known in the hunting world.”

Sam nodded, eyes moving back to the ground. “Yeah, well, they were basically massacred a long time ago.”

Sam expected this question to come from his father, but had no way to answer it. “How’d you two end up in some bunker from a secret society?”

What was he supposed to say? ‘Henry, your dad and our grandfather, was a Man of Letters. He didn’t actually up and abandon you like you’ve believed your whole life. He actually fell out of our motel room closet a few years ago! He never left you, just time traveled. Wow, time travel is weird. Oh yeah, Dean and I have also time traveled before and actually saw young you! And, by the way, Henry died shortly after arriving here, so oh well.’

Yeah, Sam knew how that conversation with John Winchester would end. 

Before anyone could answer, voices started moving closer to them.

Dammit! Cas and Jack!

He had completely forgot they were still there, the whole resurrection of their dad thing sort of pushed all other thoughts out of the way. Oh hell, he didn’t know about angels! And how in the absolute crap were they going to explain Jack?!? 

Officially Dean also recognized their predicament as their eyes met at the exact same time. Both conveying the same message: What the hell do we do?


	2. Family Disputes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted for this fic in a bit. College has been a lot. Plus, the finale for Supernatural has made me cry for several days on end. But, I'm back with another chapter! Enjoy the family drama!

Dean recognized the footsteps as they inched closer and closer. There were only a few options to explain the situation to their father. They could lie and say Cas and Jack are hunters. That appeared to be the most logical option. He would lose his mind if he realized not only angels were real, but that one was their best friend. Plus, Lucifer’s son was their kid now. His dad would blow a gasket if he heard that.

But, honestly, Dean didn’t want to lie about it either. For one, Billie said this was supposed to help prepare them for the impending battle against Chuck, so lying probably wasn’t the best way to help their soul or whatever the hell she said. But also, Dean was happy with the family he had gained. He was damn proud of the fact. He didn’t want to shy away from the truth from their father just to gain his approval.

His approval be damned.

Dean used to idolize the man when he was alive. However, over the last several years, he realized how screwed up their dad’s parenting had been. He still loved and respected his father, but Dean didn’t view him as someone who could do no wrong. 

Dean’s eyes met Sam’s for a second, the stress written all over the hazel ones staring back at him. Dean gave a curt nod before turning back to face their dad. “I guess it’s time for you to meet some folks.”

Castiel and Jack entered into the map room, having left the kitchen. They were still in conversation over…. wait, were they talking about getting Jack a teddy bear? Dean blinked his eyes for a second, the thought settling into his mind. Then, he shrugged his shoulders, mentally noting the possible gift for Jack later. The kid was going to save the world after all, so what’s the harm in a damn stuffed bear?

The two angelic beings were still deep in conversation as the stepped up toward the library, not once noticing the new guest amongst them.

Cas lifted his eyes up, looking for Sam and Dean with a smile on his face. The smile quickly faded as his gaze landed on their dad. Jack froze beside Cas, also staring wide-eyed at the unknown visitor. 

“Dean, who is this?”

Dean took a step forward gesturing to each of them. “This is Castiel and Jack. And guys, this is John Winchester. Our dad.”

Dean swore he had never seen a more shocked expression an angel could give except for right then as Castiel’s eyes were almost bulging out of his head. Jack appeared more interested yet terrified. 

Right, probably because he killed the wife of the man standing in front of him.

No need to go down that train of thought. Dean shook his head, turning to look at their father’s reaction. He looked at the two strangers skeptically. 

“You two hunters?”

Dean could feel Sam tense beside him. Cas was about to speak when Dean cut him off. “Dad, you may wanna sit down for this news.”

Sam moved quickly over to Dean’s side, grabbing his wrist harshly. “Dean!” he whispered. He was scared of their father’s reaction, which Dean understood because he had no clue how John Winchester would respond. But this was his family, and he was damn proud to call them that. He wasn’t going to lie about who they were to his father, not when he wanted to show him how amazing his family was.

Their father’s eyes hardened as he looked between his boys. “What the hell do you mean?”

Sam sighed, answering his question. “Um, well, this may be difficult to accept, but, uh, angels are, um, real.”

Their dad just stared at them, saying nothing. His mouth opened a second before shutting again, probably gathering his thoughts over this news. He then spoke, saying, “I figured they must’ve. But why bring that up now?”

Now, it was turn for Dean’s eyes to widen. His dad figured they were real?!? Dean was pretty sure his father would’ve denied their existence, same as he did after Cas introduced himself as one. Nope, instead their father had an inkling they were real. 

“We bring it up because Castiel is, uh, an angel.”

Sam’s words caused their dad to tense up before his eyes shifted towards the angelic being. Cas smiled slightly, waving his hand. He was awkward in the movement, probably also concerned for their father’s reaction. Cas had heard many a story about their dad over the years he had known the Winchester’s. 

His dad’s stare hardened at Cas. He finally spoke up, “And the other one?”

Oh hell, this seemed to already be going well, might as well drop the last bomb. Dean spoke, “Jack is a nephilim. Half human-half, well, archangel, I guess.”

Dad’s head whipped over to Dean, eyes wide enough to fill his entire face. “What the hell?!? What do you mean archangel?”

Before Dean could answer, Jack began talking, “My father was Lucifer, but I was never like him. He was a horrible father. But Sam, Dean, and Cas are all my real dads now.” 

The kid was smiling so wide as he said each of their names, causing Dean’s heart to swell up. He never knew if he could actually be a dad, especially after growing up the way he had. He’d always felt he would screw it all up. But looking at Jack, he felt like he couldn’t have asked for a better position in the world. 

John’s booming voice yanked him from his thoughts. “LUCIFER”S CHILD?!? You’re the devil’s son?!?”

Their dad had immediately stood up, appearing ready to pounce forward. Cas pushed Jack behind him, protecting him from the possible threat. Dean could see Sam move around to put himself between his father and their kid. 

“Dad, look, just chill. He’s not evil. He’s a good kid.”

John’s gaze leveled at Sam. “Not evil?!? He’s made to be evil! And, what,” his dad shifted his gaze between his two sons, “you two helped raise him? What the hell happened to you both after I died? You have an angel and the devil’s son under your roof! I thought I raised you two better!” 

Dean looked to his brother, whose head was now tilted toward the floor in shame. Oh hell no, he was not allowing his father to do this. Not after everything they had been through. 

“We grew up better. We realized that not everything was a monster just because of what it was. What mattered was what they did. And Cas has been our family for a long ass time now. He has our backs, no matter what. And we have his. Jack is nowhere near evil. He’s a good kid. And he’s our son, so back the hell off when talking about our kid. Or else.”

Dad looked taken aback to say the least at Dean’s outburst. He wasn’t the only one. Dean noticed Sam’s wide eyes staring incredulously at him for snapping at their father. 

Honestly, he didn’t care. At one point in time, Dean would have never spoke out against his father. But now, after all of the crap he had gone through and realized about their dad, he couldn’t care less. His dad didn’t hang the moon, and it had taken a while for him to realize that, but he finally did. And his father sure as hell wasn’t going to tear apart his family members. 

His dad gaped at him. “Don’t you use that tone with me, boy.”

Sam stepped in, probably hoping to ease the tension. “Dad, they’re both good. They’ve saved Dean and I’s lives too many times to count. If you trust us, you can trust them.”

Their dad looked at Sam and then over to the celestial beings in the room. Cas was still standing in a protective position over Jack, who looked nervous. Dean was prepping himself to jump his own father because he wasn’t getting anywhere near his kid. 

John looked to the ground and shook his head. “Fine, Sammy. I don’t like it, but I’m only here for one day, so I won’t spend it fighting. If they are who you both consider family, then I’ll trust them. For now, at least.”

Sam appeared to have let out a breath he had been holding. Castiel even released some of the tension in his shoulders. Dean didn’t, though. He knew his father like the back of his hand. He’d make sure to keep his eye on him while he was there. Last thing he needed was for John Winchester to go and kill his own family. 

It wasn’t like it was the first time their dad told him to kill family members. He still couldn’t forget the last words his dad had whispered to him before his death. 

Telling him to save Sam, and if he couldn’t, to kill him. 

He told him to kill his baby brother.

He sure as hell would be having a good ‘ole conversation with his dear old dad about that one.

Maybe Billie had been right about needing to get some business taken care of with their father. Because Dean was ready to let all hell loose on the man who expected him to be the “perfect little soldier.” Well, the breaking news was he wasn’t, not anymore. 

Dean felt something grip his shoulder. Looking over, he noticed the being whose hand was there to provide grounding, as always. “I’m okay, Sammy,” he whispered. 

Sam gave a nod before turning back to their dad. “How about we show you around the bunker?”


	3. One Knock-Down-Drag-Out for You

Sam took in a deep breath after showing Dad the last room in the bunker: the kitchen. Their father had seemed mildly impressed with their current residence after allowing him to tour it all. But honestly, Sam couldn’t care less about what their dad thought of their home.

Throughout the time they showed their father around, he continued to look for Cas and Jack. The two had moved to Jack’s room, the only room they skipped showing, to recover from their father’s outburst. 

Sam knew he shouldn’t care what their father thought of them, but he couldn’t help but feel upset and disappointed at his reaction to their family. If only he knew what all crap he had done in his past.

Oh hell.

What if he asked them about their past several years without him?

That was very probable. Their dad had to be itching to know what damn mess he and Dean had gotten into for him to be brought back for twenty-four hours. That conversation would lead to a whole lot of crap they both had gone through. 

Dad did tell Dean to possible kill him because of the demon blood. He probably still thought Sam had it in him. 

Even worse, how would he react to Dean’s history.

Sam was still pissed at how their father treated Dean when he was alive. Never truly treating him like a son, and instead like a soldier. 

He would lose it if his father started attacking Dean for what he had to go through these past several years, and even before when Dad was alive. Dean deserves better.

Once Dad had looked at the kitchen, he shifted his gaze over to Dean. “Can I get a beer, son?”

Dean nodded, muttering a ‘sure’ as he made his way to the fridge, grabbing three beers for all of them. Their dad moved to sit at the table, Sam following his motions, sitting across from him. While he hated the idea of being literally right in front of their father, he wasn’t going to make Dean deal with it.

He would shift some of the heat off of Dean this way.

Dean handed him his beer, a small knowing smile on his face. Sam shrugged his own shoulders as his response, pretending it was no big deal.

Dean handed Dad his beer, then moved to sit beside Sam. It made him feel more comfortable and relaxed to have his brother’s presence beside him. He swore he could feel the tension leave his body as Dean’s shoulder bumped into his own, his own way of saying he was right there with Sam. 

“So, tell me everything I’ve missed since I’ve been gone.”

Well, it had been nice while it’d lasted. The tension was immediately back. Sam took a second to reel himself as Dean answered, “Well, there’s been a lot that’s happened. You may have to be a little more specific.”

Dad looked annoyed at Dean’s remark. “Okay, what happened after Yellow-Eyes was killed?” 

Sam sighed. “Well, the Devil’s Gate was opened, which is how you got out of Hell, along with thousands of demons. We were attempting to stop their plans. At the same time, we were trying to figure out Dean’s-”

Sam stopped speaking as memories slammed into him. They were trying to stop Dean from going to Hell, break his deal. He couldn’t tell his dad that Dean went to Hell because of him. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Dean’s what? What happened with Dean?”

Just as Sam was working on thinking straight again, Dean’s voice softly spoke, “My deal. My crossroads deal.”

Sam glanced at their father’s face, only to see anger residing on all of his features. “You made a crossroads deal?!? What the hell, Dean! I mean, sure I made one, but that was to save your life! What was running through your damn mind to make you-”

“Sam died.”

Sam whipped his head to look at his brother. The glassy look in his eyes matched the heartbroken tone of his voice, making Sam’s own heart shatter slightly.

Dean continued, “I failed, Dad. I was supposed to protect Sammy, and I failed. He got killed, so I made the damn deal to bring him back.”

Sam could see the pain etched in Dean’s face from recalling that night in Cold Oak. Dean never liked talking about the first time Sam died. And Sam never brought it up, knowing how much it hurt his older brother. And here he was having to relive it again.

Sam bumped his shoulder against his brother. His own way of saying he was right there and not dead. He noticed his brother’s lips tug upwards slightly from the gesture. 

Sam turned his focus back to his dad, who looked shocked at Dean’s revelation. After appearing to collect himself, he ventured by asking, “How long did you get?”

After looking back to his big brother, Sam saw a lone tear fall from Dean’s eye. “One year. And I went to Hell for forty years, or four months in actual Earth time.”

Sam wanted to bring back Lilith, except instead of killing the bitch and bringing about the apocalypse, he would make sure the demon suffered for sending Dean to Hell. Oh, and he would take Alastair on a plate, too, and kill him again for torturing Dean. 

Their dad’s voice broke through his dark thoughts. “Sam, I hate to ask, but I-I need to know. How did you die?”

Sam’s eyes shot to meet his father’s. What the hell? Sure, he may be concerned about Sam having a quick death or something, but that was a weird-ass question. 

“What?” 

Officially, Dean felt the same way based on his confused tone.

Sam swallowed, “Um, I was stabbed in the back by this guy who had super strength when I was kidnapped by Azazel, or Yellow-Eyes.”

Dad’s face looked…. not how he expected for hearing that revelation. He appeared full of despair but also….. disappointment? 

Surely, Sam misread that. There was no way-

“Dammit, that demon blood that was in you turned you, didn’t it? That’s why Yellow-Eyes grabbed you. It’s what I had always feared.”

Sam felt like the floor was ripped out from underneath him. He knew this was coming. He knew it. But, it didn’t make it any easier to hear his father say it. To look at him with disgust…

“Dean, I told you to kill him if you couldn’t save him, and instead you brought him back? What happened after you were alive again?”

Was he breathing anymore? Because it sure as hell felt harder to breathe. His dad was literally sitting in front of him saying he should have stayed dead. His own son. 

And maybe he was right.

Dean still hadn’t said anything, and one glance over showed Sam how absolutely horrified and shocked his brother was by their dad.

Dad’s tone became harsher as he addressed him instead of Dean, making Sam flinch. “Tell me now. What did you do?”

He really didn’t want to tell him. It felt like he was five again, having to spill the beans over breaking a vase to his father. Except this time, it was that he brought about the apocalypse the first time. But, he knew he would have to explain it eventually, so may as well drop the horrible truth now.

His voice came out hoarse and shaky as he spoke, “After, um, Dean went to Hell, I spun out of control with grief. A demon named Ruby, who had helped us several times before, came and helped me get through it. I started to use my powers to send demons to Hell without killing the host. Once Dean came back, things got tense between us. Ruby told me I could kill Lilith with my powers, and that demon had held Dean’s contract and also wanted to start the apocalypse.”

Sam hesitated before continuing, “Sh-She told me that the only way I could get strong enough to kill Lilith was by drinking d-demon blood since it was already in me. And I did get stronger. I-I ended up killing Lilith, but was tricked the entire time. Because Lilith was the final seal, and by killing her, L-Lucifer was released from the Cage in Hell. Later, I found out all of it was done because I-I was Lucifer’s true vessel.”

Sam’s eyes were glued to the table, head bowed in shame. He couldn’t face his father. 

“Are you serious?”

Sam hesitantly lifted his eyes to see his dad’s face, which looked furious and full of what Sam could only describe as hatred. All directed in Sam’s direction.

“You turned into a monster and freed the Devil?!? And you are Lucifer’s vessel?!?”

His eyes started to fill with warm tears. He honestly just wished he could disappear. He didn’t want to be here anymore. 

Monster. The damning name that had been flung in his face time and time again. 

“Shut your damn mouth. Right now.”

The deep, powerful voice beside him started to speak up. Sam couldn’t even look into his brother’s eyes. Shame and guilt were eating him alive as he sat at this table. 

Their dad sounded shocked and even more furious. “Excuse me?”

Dean sounded like a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. “That’s my little brother you are talking about. And you have no right whatsoever to judge him.”

“Dean, don’t you dare use that tone with me! And he turned into one of the things we hunt! I don’t even think I could call him my son!”

He couldn’t do this. Not now. His own father just basically disowned him. 

And worst of all, he felt like he deserved it. 

After all of these years of trying to deal with the aftermath of the first apocalypse, he thought he had managed to move on. He had understood he was played and both he and Dean were at fault. They had talked about it. Everything hadn’t fallen on only his shoulders.

But, now, it did.

Because he was the one who did start the apocalypse. Who drank the poison that was demon blood only to become addicted. Who hurt his brother deeply by breaking their trust. 

He did all of that. 

Dean’s hand slammed against the table, shaking Sam out of his head again, making him jump in his seat. “You’re a crappy dad, you know that? Sammy was tricked! And, guess what, so was I! He made some bad decisions, sure, but ultimately his heart was in the right place. And, on top of it, I wasn’t there to help him. If I had actually stepped up and been a big brother when I came back from Hell, then none of that would’ve happened. So, you wanna blame someone, then blame me!”

Sam couldn’t let his brother take the fall for him. “Dean-”

“No, Sammy!” Dean’s attention moved to him, then. “You don’t deserve this crap after the literal hell you went through!”

He then shifted his fury back on their father. “You wanna know what the hell your sons have been through? Well, I’ll give you the cliff-notes version. Because of our bloodline, YOUR bloodline, we were selected to be the true vessels to bring about the apocalypse. Sam was supposed to be Lucifer’s and me Michael’s. Because of that, Sam was fed demon blood by that damn yellow-eyed sonuvabitch that killed Mom! Then, they poisoned him with that blood. Tricked him into setting the Devil free. He eventually said yes to Lucifer because he was sacrificing himself to save the whole damn world! He beat the DEVIL and was stuck in the Cage in Hell with both Lucifer and Michael for decades! And his Hell was worse than both of ours combined!

“Oh, and then, he was brought back, but without a soul! His damn SOUL! Let’s not forget him eventually getting it back and having to manage the memories and PTSD of his time in the Cage! But guess what?!? Through it all, Sammy has always remained kind and good! He still saved so many damn people! All of that trauma, and he is one of the strongest beings I have ever known. And I am damn proud to call him my brother.”

Sam wasn’t sure what to do. He felt warm tears sliding down his face at Dean’s outburst. Too many emotions were going on because he still felt the guilt and shame, but he felt the utter love in Dean’s words. It was almost enough to cause him to lose it right then and there.

“And one last thing, he sure as hell isn’t a monster.”

Now, Sam was actually going to breakdown. Because hearing his brother, whose words once damned him as that one thing, say that he wasn’t it was overwhelming. Sam wanted to believe it, he really did. He never wanted to be the monster or the freak.

The sound of a chair skidding across the floor caused Sam to lift his head up. Dean was standing beside him protectively, grabbing him by the arm to pull him to a standing position. Sam wasn’t sure if his legs wouldn’t give out right there, but Dean immediately put his arm around his waist, taking most of his weight and steadying him on his feet. His one sense of comfort and stability had him. 

“We need a minute.”

And with that, they shuffled out of the kitchen, their dad being left alone cursing to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will make things better for our boys eventually, I promise! :)


	4. With Fallout Comes Rebuilding

Dean was practically carrying all of Sam’s weight as he maneuvered him down the hallways. The closest bedroom was Dean’s, and honestly, it might do Sam better to be in there rather than his own room right now. 

It was taking the all of the big brother instincts inside of himself to keep Dean from screaming and breaking stuff in the bunker at that moment. His father had no right to tear his younger brother apart like that. And if it wasn’t for the fact that Sam truly needed him right now, Dean would be marching back into that kitchen and punching his dad square in the nose. 

But Sam could barely hold himself up as it was. He seemed to be in a trance of some sort. The entire walk to the bedroom, Dean had whispered reassurances to his brother with no response at all. 

As they entered the room, Dean shifted Sam until the kid was sitting at the edge of the bed. Once he appeared to not fall over, Dean released him. Now that he could actually look at his little brother, though, all anger and rage left his body and was replaced with concern and worry. 

Sam’s eyes were glazed and unfocused as fresh tears openly streamed down his face. Sam typically attempted to hide from Dean when he started crying, but now he was on full display. His face was pale, and his breathing was erratic, full of gasps and hitches as he attempted to suppress sobs.

It broke Dean’s heart seeing how devastated his brother was. Sam held words dear to himself. They were his greatest weapon; yet, on the flip-side, they were also his destruction. What their father had said to him in that kitchen was affecting him on a deeper level. Dean could recognize it. Bringing up all the crap was one of the worst possible outcomes to happen at the moment. It had taken years for Sam to finally move past all of that stuff that happened in the past. While Dean had forgiven the kid, Sam would never forgive himself.

“Sammy.”

Dean was hoping to gain Sam’s attention, break him out of whatever inner monologue he was running through his mind that was definitely filled with self-hatred. He slowly crouched in front of his brother. Thankfully, Sam’s eyes slowly shifted to meet Dean’s. He looked so much younger, like he was staring into the eyes of that snot-nosed ten-year-old kid that would come to Dean when a bully was giving him trouble at school. Dean still felt that protective big brother instinct to this day, even if it was their dad instead of a bully this time. No one screwed with Sam and got away with it. 

No one.

Sam finally opened his mouth to speak, “Dean, I’m sorry.”

Dean knew where this was going, and he sure as hell wasn’t letting his brother beat himself up this time. “Sam, no. Don’t you dare apologize. I meant every word I said in there. He had no right to say the things he did. Okay? None.”

Sam shrunk further into himself, attempting to make himself look smaller. “I ruined this whole thing, I mean, this was supposed to be a reunion with _dad_ , and I ruined it all. Dad was right.”

Dean wanted to slam his head repeatedly into the concrete wall, and then go grab their father and slam _his_ head repeatedly into said wall. “Sammy, you didn’t ruin anything. Dad did! He doesn’t know the full story of what happened. Plus, he wasn’t even there.Therefore, he doesn’t get an opinion. But we were. You and I. And have you messed up? Yep. But, have I also? Damn straight. We Winchester’s suck at moving on from the past, but I say it’s about time to change that little tradition.”

Sam lowered his eyes, staring straight at the floor. He sagged his shoulders forward in a way that Dean recognized as something his little brother did when he felt guilty. “My past mistakes were pretty big. Like world-ending big.”

Dean placed his hand carefully on Sam’s leg, giving it a slight squeeze of reassurance. “They weren’t all your fault, man. When the first apocalypse was looming, both of our chains were being yanked by demons and angels. We were manipulated and toyed with like friggin’ puppets. And since then? The same crappy stuff has continued to happen. You wanna know what the difference is, though? The fact that we, that _you_ , fought to make it right. And we saved the world countless times because that’s what we do.”

Sam’s head snapped up, more tears falling from his eyes and his distraught voice spoke, “Dean. It doesn’t matter. It will never matter because I’m a- I’m a freaking monster. Dad agrees. You agree. That’s just the truth, and nothing I’ll ever do will fix that.”

Dean stared at his brother with his mouth gaped wide open. He wished he could go back eleven years ago and smack some sense into his past self for saying that dumb crap to Sam. He screwed that up back then, and Sam has suffered ever since, never fully believing that he was “clean” or “good.” And part of that blame fell on Dean for uttering those words to the one person who looked up to him for everything. The one who needed his validation. And instead, he spat venomous words meant to hurt. 

Well, now was the time to fix that. 

“No chick-flick moments” be damned.

“Listen, Sam.” Sam started shaking his head, looking away from Dean again in shame. 

Uh-uh, not happening this time. Dean reached forward and gently but firmly grabbed Sam’s chin, forcing him to turn his head and maintain eye contact. “Sammy, I need you to listen. I need you to use those gigantor ears of yours to focus on these words I’m about to say, okay?”

Sam nodded, but Dean didn’t release his chin yet. He needed Sam to finally understand this one, important concept. “You are _not_ a monster. Ya hear me? You’re not, nor have you ever been. I shouldn’t have said that crap back then. I was pissed and said whatever I knew would hurt you, and that was wrong. And I’m sorry. But, I need you to understand that.”

Sam looked like an absolute mess. He was shaking as more tears leaked out. It was like he wanted to believe the words he was hearing, but past hurt kept him from accepting them. “Dean-”

“No. I don’t wanna hear you try and convince me otherwise. Because you’ll fail and piss me off by talking bad about _my_ little brother. The same little brother who is annoying, bitchy, smart, kind, caring, a damn good hunter, an amazing brother, my best friend, and not a monster. Not in the slightest bit. So, shut the hell up if you’re gonna say he is one ‘cause he’s gone through enough already and doesn’t deserve more crap. Got me?”

Sam reached both his hands forward to grasp tightly onto Dean’s shirt like a lifeline. Dean moved forward immediately, enveloping the younger one in a tight embrace. He heard the sound of a sob that must’ve escaped Sam’s lips, and that was when the floodgates opened. Sam broke down, body shaking and gasps for air resounded between sobs. Dean just held on tighter, rubbing his hands soothingly back-and-forth on Sam’s back to help calm him down. 

Fifteen years of harboring self-hatred and shame can do that to a person.

Dean just held on, knowing that this was truly a stepping stone in the right direction. Although he was still unbelievably pissed with their father at the moment, and would be dealing with him later, if he hadn’t brought up all of that past stuff, Sam would’ve continued to carry it on his shoulders. Dean sucked at addressing Sam’s emotions since he buried his own. But Sam held on to everything. They needed this talk.

Honestly, it felt like a weight was lifted after just discussing this one thing.

All that hatred and betrayal were buried under the bridge a while ago, but there was still an uneasiness that it could be unsheathed again at any moment. Sam probably was waiting for the other shoe to drop and for Dean to kick him to the curb, deeming him “unworthy.” 

But that was the furthest option from the truth. And now, Sam knew that one hundred percent. 

They continued to stay like that for a while, feeling a sense of peace.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Castiel was walking around the bunker searching for Dean or Sam. He hoped to not run into John Winchester again. He had finally calmed Jack down, the young nephilim finally asleep in his bed. Cas was wanting to see how the brothers were doing now, considering everything.

Their father was resurrected somehow. It just led to more questions as to how and why the older hunter was there. Part of the angel wondered if it was actually their father and not a monster pretending to be him. But, that possibility was quickly squashed once he realized that testing their father would have been the first item on Sam and Dean’s checklist. 

Castiel had heard many a story about the infamous John Winchester. In heaven, he remembered only hearing of his family’s lineage that would one day lead to the vessels for Michael and Lucifer. Since befriending Sam and Dean, he had heard more about the man who had raised his two friends. They described him as being “strict” but they showed apparent love for him still.

Yet, he could also sense the deep trepidation the two of them had for their father. After spending time on Earth, he learned more about being human and what all it entails. And after spending time with both Winchester brothers, Cas realized there was a lot of issues the two men faced now related to their past and how they were raised. 

Honestly, it pissed Castiel off a little bit.

Add on the fact that John Winchester shouted at Jack, threatened him, and Cas decided he was not a big fan of the man. 

That’s why he didn’t want to run into him at the moment as he scoured the bunker for the rest of his family. He just wanted to check in on Sam and Dean.

Of course, fate despises him.

Cas walked into the kitchen in hopes of finding Dean raiding the refrigerator for beer, but instead found the one person he wanted to avoid sitting at their table, head bowed.

Well, of course it _was_ bowed until he heard Castiel enter the room. Now, his head shot up to meet the angel’s eyes.

The man grumbled, muttering “Oh, it’s you.”

Cas took a deep breath before speaking, “Do you know where Sam and Dean are?”

The older hunter gave a laugh that sounded off. The angel figured it was more of a scoff than anything. “Like hell I would know. I don’t know anything about those two anymore. I don’t even know if I can call them my sons anymore.”

Cas widened his eyes, attempting to understand what the man just said. It has taken a lot of time spent on Earth for him to recognize sarcasm, but it was the way the oldest Winchester said his words that reminded him of the all-too-well-known self-despair sarcasm Dean typically used. 

“What do you mean? Of course they are your sons.”

John shook his head, standing up abruptly, causing the chair he was once sitting in to go toppling backwards. Castiel didn’t even flinch from the sudden movement. The man’s eyes moved to his own, and all he could see was fury built up in them, all aimed at himself. 

“Get the hell outta here. What are you even doing with those two? Using them?!? What use would you have for a couple of humans, I mean, you’re a damn angel! How ‘bout you take the Devil incarnate and leave my boys alone.”

Now, Castiel could be a patient angel. He was typically calm and tried to understand others, especially humans. Back when he first arrived on Earth, he was not this way. He’d kill an innocent if his orders said to since they were heaven’s orders. As time has passed with the Winchester’s, the angel realized how complicated life actually was. That led him to being more empathetic with others than he once was. 

But now, that was gone right out the window, along with his calm demeanor. 

“Jack is _NOT_ the Devil. He is a good kid. And he will not leave his home, nor will I. If you threaten him one more time, or call him a demonic being or evil, then you will face the literal wrath of an angel.”

With each word, Castiel took another step forward, his voice deepening even more as it boomed throughout the room, hints of his true voice coming through. Cas could feel his grace sparking as his anger rose.

The man didn’t stand down, though. Instead, he took a few more steps closer, closing some of the space between the two of them. “Is that a threat? And this is my boys’ home, not yours. They may have fell off the deep-end, but hopefully I can knock some sense into them both. I’ll make them understand how befriending supernatural creatures is not what I raised them to do.”

John was seething as he breathed out each word, striving to intimidate the angel in front of himself. However, he failed completely as Cas not only didn’t feel scared in the tiniest bit, but instead felt even more livid.

“This is our home. Dean, Sam, Jack, and myself. And also, your two boys are heroes, do you not understand that, you ass? They both saved this world over and over again, despite the trauma and pain they have undergone. They are two of the strongest and best beings I have ever met. And they did it all with no thanks to you.”

John looked taken aback by the angel’s words. But, Cas wasn’t done yet. 

“You made your oldest take care of your youngest as you threw yourself into one hunt after the next, not giving either of them a childhood, especially Dean. All he wanted to do was make his father proud. But, instead he has gained PTSD not only from the horrors he has experienced such as his time in hell or turning into a demon due to the Mark of Cain, but also from the stress of raising Sam when he himself was only a child.”

The older man’s eyes widened incredibly far before whispering, “Dean was a d-demon?”

“Yes. Not by choice, either. And Sam saved him. Because that’s what Sam does. He saves people even if it means killing himself. He has sacrificed everything to right the wrongs caused by not only himself but by others, too. All of it is because he’s a good man.

“They both are. They have not ‘fallen of the deep-end’ as you say. They are incredibly strong and intelligent. I count myself lucky to know them and be in their lives as not only a friend, but as family.”

Cas was about to storm out of the room, turning and heading to the exit, when he paused for a second to throw over his shoulder, “Before you judge other supernatural beings or your own sons, maybe you should take a look at yourself. Because what you caused those two to go through is not okay, and it’s about time you took more responsibility for it all. Heaven knows, they blame themselves for everything already. So, think about that before you open your mouth again.”

And with that, Castiel left the room before another word could be muttered.


	5. And Now Comes the Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you are all doing well!
> 
> Sorry it's taken me some time to get the next chapter out for this story! Personal life stuff has been extremely busy right now, but there is one more chapter left to go for this fic! Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments! I really appreciate them all, and love to read all the comments! I'm truly glad you all are enjoying this little fic! 
> 
> Also, I wish you all a Happy New Year! I hope it is safe and blessed for you all! Hopefully 2021 will be better than 2020! *Fingers crossed* I have some ideas lined up for some future fics for the new year, so keep an eye on them! 
> 
> Enjoy!:)

Sam was feeling so many emotions at the moment. He was mentally and emotionally exhausted. 

His talk with Dean really did help, though.

While things had obviously gotten better between both himself and his brother, there was still an underlying tension that had never been resolved. It left both of them feeling awkward and unsteady honestly since Dean returned from Hell. 

Sam had held the belief that Dean still resented him for the demon blood and releasing Lucifer. And, truthfully, Sam wouldn’t have blamed the guy if he had. He royally screwed up with all of that. He had been spending years working to atone for his past transgressions. 

But, ultimately, deep down, he still feared he was the freak he had been described as once upon a time. And he figured Dean would never be able to move past that either. 

But, here he was, sitting on the bed in his brother’s room, drying up his tears after listening to Dean adamantly explain how Sam was not a monster, willing to share a ‘chick-flick’ moment with his younger brother. Explaining how he forgave him for his screw ups and still loved him. Still cared for him.

Obviously, he should already know this, but there was always that little voice in his head that felt differently. That made him question how his amazing big brother could ever forgive him. 

But he did.

And that was all Sam could ask for.

He and Dean had finally broken off their embrace, his brother still crouched below him, waiting to make sure his younger sibling was okay before moving. Dean had to be uncomfortable staying in that position for so long. How long had they been in this room, anyway? Sam couldn’t tell. 

Once he felt his breathing even out, he lifted his head to look at Dean. Comforting, patient green eyes stared back at him, helping to calm Sam even more. Damn, did he have the best big brother ever. 

He felt a calloused hand squeeze his neck in a reassuring gesture. Sam felt a smile tug at his lips knowing that was the reaction Dean had been hoping for. 

Sam was correct when he saw Dean’s face match his as his smile brightened up the room. He barely saw that smile anymore and had truly missed it. After all the crap that’s been thrown their way, it’s nice to find ways to still smile and find some sense of happiness, no matter how brief it might be.

“How ya feeling now, Sammy?”

Sam felt his smile broaden more from the nickname. “I’m better. Thanks, jerk.”

Dean moved his hand from Sam’s neck to his arm where he gave a strong pat. “Bitch.”

Sam exhaled slowly, feeling a lot better now, in all honesty. But, that’s when their current situation slammed back into him. Dad.

“Um, Dean, we better get back out there. I mean, Dad’s still here.”

Dean’s eyes hardened at the mention of their father. Sam was sure his brother was still pissed at what the man said. Add the breakdown on top, and you have yourself an extreme protective big brother mode activated. 

While it could be annoying at times, Sam always cherished that mode his brother had when it came to him.

“I don’t give a crap that he’s still here, man. He better stay the hell away from you.”

Sam kinda felt the same way. His father had always held his prejudices and ideals. He had always been a one-track mind, focusing solely on revenge for their mom. That led to him and Dean having to grow up way too fast and not have the best childhood (if you could even call it that). Plus, there was the Stanford fight. His father’s words still echoed around in his head to this day, _“you walk out that door, don’t you_ ever _come back!”_ Sam remembered the absolute devastation he felt at those words, but valued the feeling of safety he wanted so badly, so he left.

He and his father had a rough relationship. Always had. But, over the years, Sam realized how similar they were at times. That probably explained a lot of their fights, both of them too damn stubborn to admit defeat. 

He didn’t agree with how his father raised him and Dean. He didn’t agree with them being treated as soldiers more than sons. He didn’t agree with a lot of ways his father thought. 

But, he still didn’t hate the man.

Sam wasn’t sure how to explain it other than the fact that it was his dad. And he knew how much the man truly loved and cared for both his sons, even if he didn’t show it in the best of ways. 

Did his father screw up? Hell yeah. They didn’t deserve the childhood they had. Dean didn’t deserve the responsibility that was thrusted upon his shoulders as the literal caretaker of the family. Their dad shouldn’t have told Dean to kill him if he couldn’t be saved. 

But, in the end, their dad did protect them. He had told them time and time again how much he cared for his sons. In the end, he did sell his soul to the demon that killed his wife, who he had been hunting down for years, just to save Dean. 

Sam just wish he would apologize. That he would realize the pain he caused not only himself, but especially Dean. Because his older brother didn’t deserve to lose his innocence at four years old. 

“Dean, dad’s here for just a couple more hours. I’m not gonna just distance myself from him the entire time he has left.”

Dean looked reluctant, but Sam grabbed his shoulder firmly. “I promise I’m better now. Let’s just go and at least look for Cas and Jack. They probably aren’t fairing any better at the moment.”

Dean nodded his head, seeming to understand Sam’s reasoning. “Okay, let’s go look for them. The kid probably isn’t doing too well.”

Sam stood up from the bed, making sure Dean could get up from his crouched position. He swore he heard a crack from one of his brother’s knees, but before he could comment, Dean shot a glare his way that dared him to comment. Sam snickered quietly as they made their way out of the room. 

They walked through the hallways of the bunker, silence enveloping them. There were no sounds to give any location to their father or Cas and Jack. Their footsteps echoed around them as they made their way towards the library. They figured it would be the best place to start searching for them.

Plus, they were actively avoiding the kitchen in case their dad was still in there. 

As they rounded the corner to the library, Sam caught site of the angel and nephilim sitting at one of the tables, both looking at the ground. 

Jack appeared upset and confused, while Castiel seemed to be attempting to hide his anger, and failing. Why was Cas so mad, though? Sure, what their dad said the Jack pissed him off, that Sam was sure of, but it happened several hours ago. He figured the seraph would have calmed down some by now. But, he looked about ready to explode any moment. 

Officially Dean recognized this, too, as he approached the angel. “Cas, man, you good?”

Castiel lifted his head to look at Dean. His blue eyes softened for a few seconds as he took in the older Winchester brother. Then, he shifted his eyes towards Sam. After a few seconds, he looked back to Dean, but the softness in his eyes transformed to what only could be described as red-hot fury. Castiel’s eyes glowed an even brighter blue as his grace seemed to show through. 

“No, Dean, I am most-definitely ‘not good.’” 

The usual deep voice somehow became even deeper as the angel spoke, along with some reverberation that slightly hurt Sam’s ears. It seemed to also hurt Dean as he winced at the words. Jack shot his head up at the response. 

Castiel seemed to recognize their discomfort as his anger diminished slightly. “Sorry,” he spoke in his typical Cas voice, “my true voice came out a little bit. I’m just, as you two would say, am pissed.” 

Before Sam could even attempt to speak, his brother said, “Dad.”

It wasn’t said as a question, more as an understanding. Castiel nodded his head, as Jack shifted even more uncomfortably in his chair. 

“I ran into the man. Luckily, Jack had stayed in his room. I was searching for the two of you. I confronted him about what was said about Jack because it is entirely untrue. He continued to back his original statement, which I would not stand for. No one hurts him and gets away with it. And then, he spoke of the both of you, saying things that just angered me. So, I told him the truth about how amazing his sons grew up to be without his help.”

Sam gaped at the wrathful angel sitting in front of him. He was still, barely even breathing, as he took in Castiel’s words. _He stood up for us._

_He stood up to John Winchester._

Sam moved his eyes over to his brother, who’s face held the same exact one his must have: shock. Dean shook his head and cleared his voice before saying, “Y-You did what?”

Castiel tightened his fists, before slamming them hard into the table, the loud noise causing Sam to flinch. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed Jack did, as well. The angel jumped from his chair, facing him and his brother. The fury was back full-force in his eyes.

“I told your father the truth. That he did not take care of you like a father should. And even without him, you both became the best people I have ever known. I know his words hurt you. I know how he messed you up with his soldier attitude. And neither of you deserved that. So I made sure _he_ knew that, too. Because you both shouldn’t doubt yourselves just because of what that shell of a man says. You both showed me the meaning of living. Of fighting for free will. And I will always be beyond thankful to have you both in my life.”

Sam didn’t know what to say. His mind was whirling over the words spoken by their friend. Emotions were building inside of himself, and he worried he was about to start crying again. But dammit, he had already shed enough tears for at least today’s quota. 

Dean looked frozen. His face was shocked, but no other emotion could be determined by his expression. 

Sam decided to say something since he didn’t know what else to do. “Uh, t-thanks, Cas.”

Castiel turned his attention to Sam, determined. “Don’t thank me. You should already know this. You are _both_ worth everything. And you mean so much to me, and to Jack. Remember that.”

Before Sam could register everything, Cas moved forward and pulled him into a hug. Sam was shocked and confused, hesitantly raising his hands to lay on the angel’s back. Cas just tightened his hold, whispering, “Please remember that, Sam. You are _not_ the ‘boy with the demon blood.’ You are so much more. A good man.”

And with that, the dams broke again as silent tears started streaming down Sam’s face. He gripped Castiel’s trench-coat and he fully returned the embrace. After a few seconds, they finally released, Sam quickly scrubbing to hide the indication of his short breakdown. But, one glance over to Dean’s understanding face made him realize he was too late. 

As they separated, Cas looked at Sam one more time with a smile before turning to pull Dean in for a hug. Sam decided to give them some space.

He walked over to where Jack was still sitting, eyes mesmerized on the scene unfolding. Sam kneeled down to be better eye-level with the kid. “Hey, Jack.”

Jack whipped his head around to meet Sam’s eyes. “H-Hey, Sam.”

There was a sheen over the kid’s eyes, proving he was attempting to keep tears back. Sam’s lip quirked upwards. “Ya know, Cas is right. Our dad was wrong. You’re definitely not a monster.”

Jack immediately looked to the ground, shaking his head. He mumbled under his breath, barely loud enough for Sam to hear, “I’ve hurt people. I have these powers. And my dad is Lucifer. How am I not a monster.”

Sam grabbed Jack’s shoulder in a comforting manner. The kid lifted his eyes up to look at him once more. One tear seemed to have escaped. 

“I know what it feels like to think you’re the freak. To think you’re a monster. Hell, just thirty minutes ago, I was having a cry-fest over this exact same reason. I’ve hurt people, too. Good people. I had something inside me that I didn’t ask for and made others believe I was evil. We didn’t get to choose that. And we make mistakes. But, it’s how we come back from it all that matters. We could choose to go all dark-side, or we could fight for what’s right. And, that’s exactly what you’ve done, Jack.”

The kid tried to turn his head away, but Sam wasn’t having it. He lightly grabbed Jack’s chin, similar to how Dean had done to him earlier. “When I look at you, all I see is a good kid. One who’s been dealt a bad hand in life, but has still tried to do the right thing. So, don’t listen to my Dad. Listen to us. You’re not evil.”

The tears started steadily falling from Jack’s eyes as he sniffled. Sam took the opportunity to pull him into a hug, feeling the kid nudge his face at his neck. Sam just held him while he released these emotions. Jack hadn’t really had a break this entire time. His whole life had been one whole crap-show that never slowed down. In just the few years he had been alive, his mother died, he lost his powers, lost his soul, died himself, been brought back, and declared the only way to stop Chuck. It was a lot to throw onto a kid. But, through it all, Jack had stayed good. 

And he was still their kid, even after all of it.

Sam pulled them apart to get a better look at Jack’s face. The kid smiled at him a murmured, “Thanks, Sam.”

Sam nodded before turning his head to look at Dean and Cas. Dean’s face was wet with tears, too, smiling over at them. 

They would be okay, in the end. 

Everything was fine for one moment, until the sound of footsteps interrupted.

“Boys, we should talk.”


	6. From a Place of Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to get this last chapter up! Classes started back for me, so I've been doing a lot of re-adjusting. Plus, I really wanted to make sure this chapter was well-written and perfect. But, again, apologies.
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the love on this little story! Your kudos and comments have meant so much to me and are extremely appreciated! 
> 
> Well, here's the end! Hope you all enjoy!

Couldn’t they have one damned moment of peace? Just. One. Freakin’. Moment.

Dean could feel the anger pulse through his being. The old him would’ve wiped the drying tears on his face away. Would’ve shown admiration to the figure standing before him. Would’ve agreed and followed every order his father decreed. 

But now?

Now, John Winchester could go screw himself.

Dean hissed, “What’s there to talk about?”

He noticed Sam stand up from his crouched position by Jack, while the kid shifted uncomfortably in his chair. His little brother slowly maneuvered to stand by his side, anxiety and self-hatred radiating off him. It infuriated the older Winchester sibling even more.

Dean also recognized that Cas had moved to stand more in front of his entire family, a barrier between the man who was supposed to be his father and their family. Castiel had some amazing words of encouragement for him that he uttered during their embrace. One day, Dean hoped he might actually believe all of them, but for now, he was extremely thankful for the angel that gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.

John locked his gaze on Dean quickly after his outburst, agitation written all over his face. Dean almost smirked. 

_Good. Let him be pissed._

“There’s a lot to talk about. Sam, Dean, we need to speak privately.”

Dean felt Sam tense up next to him. There was no way he was gonna allow their dad to berate Sam all over again, which would be much simpler to do with just the three of them. 

“No,” Dean answered, simply. 

Dad’s eyes hardened. “Excuse me?”

Dean could feel Sam’s eyes on him. Dean would protect his little brother. Always.

Even from their own father. 

He took a step forward, standing protectively in front of Sam. “I said no. **Hell no.** ”

His father looked ready to blow a gasket. “Don’t you dare speak to me that way. I’m still your father.”

Castiel’s thundering voice echoed throughout the bunker, “ **YOU DO NOT ACT AS SUCH.** ”

John seemed to shrink back from the pure rage behind that voice. Honestly, it made Dean flinch from the sheer power behind it. 

Cas wasn’t done yet. 

“You have shown **no** respect for your two sons. You claim to be a father when you weren’t there for them. You forced them into a terrible life, filled with so much pain and sorrow.”

The words seemed to shake Dad. “I-I never wanted them to have to grow up that way, but I had to find Mary’s killer. _I had to._ I kept them as safe as I could. Boys, you know this.”

Before either Sam or himself could answer, Cas plowed on. “Right, so what’s your excuse for how you treated them? You tried to turn them into soldiers. News flash: they weren’t soldiers. They were children. So much of their self-worth issues and difficulties dealing with pain and trauma stem from you. Yet, you never have taken full responsibility for it, at least, that is how it appears to be.”

Dean gaped at the angel who was moving closer to their father. Cas was really going toe-to-toe with John Freakin’ Winchester. And the man actually wasn’t cutting him off or cussing him out. Honestly, he looked….. guilty? 

The hell?

“You see, these two young men behind me have been to hell and back. _Literally._ They have sacrificed _everything_ to save this world. And they have succeeded every single time. They have saved so many people. They saved Jack. They saved me. They are not failures or screw-ups. They are heroes. And they are my family. So, you better think before you speak to them.”

Dean couldn’t help but stare at Cas. He tried to let his words sink in. Before he could fully process any of it, John spoke up.

“I, um, I’ve realized a lot in just this amount of time I’ve been back.”

His dad sounded so… sad. And heartbroken. Dean didn’t know what to do with that. Like, no clue at all. 

John started moving closer, stopping when Castiel blocked his path. The angel looked downright terrifying. 

Dean could barely hear his father as he whispered to the angel, basically pleading, “Please, let me speak with my sons.”

Cas stood there for a few more seconds, appearing to contemplate the request. Finally, he moved to the side, allowing their father passage. He still stood to the side protectively, prepared to pounce if needed. 

Dean couldn’t help but feel a small smile pull at his face.

John moved closer to both him and Sam before stopping abruptly, turning to look down at a slightly trembling Jack. Dean started to move forward to prevent him from saying something else stupid to the kid when the man opened his mouth.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you. You look just like a kid, kinda remind me of my two boys when they were youngsters. But, that’s what you are: just a child. I shouldn’t have called you a monster. You don’t appear to be one, and these three seem to care deeply for ya. So, I’m sorry.”

Before Jack could respond, their dad turned and finished closing in on his two sons. Dean still stood slightly in front of Sam. After what happened earlier, he wasn’t gonna let Sam be verbally attacked again. 

John sighed, “Boys.”

Dean quickly interjected, “If your gonna jump on Sam again, you better think twice. ‘Cause it’s not gonna happen this time.”

He could hear his brother whisper, “Dean…”

“No, Sammy. Your brother is right. I shouldn’t have said what I did earlier.”

Dean swore his eyes widened to the point they probably looked like saucers. Did his dad say he was _right_?!?

Officially their father recognized their surprise, because Dean knew Sam had to be looking similar to him right now. “Look boys, I’ve had some time to think. And your angel friend is right. I was a crappy father to you both.”

Dean didn’t know what to say or do in that moment. He was completely torn. On one hand, their dad _did_ do a crap job as compared with other fathers. It was unfair the weight he had placed on Dean’s shoulders at such a young age. But, at the same time, Dean knew their dad loved them both. That he tried to keep both he and Sam safe.

Sam broke the silence by softly saying, “Dad, you tried your best.”

Their father shook his head. “That doesn’t excuse anything. I made you both grow up too fast. Especially you, Dean.” His father met his eyes.

“If it weren’t for you, who knows what would’ve happened to Sam. Or me. You raised him. And I put too much on your shoulders. I mean, you were just a kid. You took care of this family. It wasn’t fair, yet you still did it and never complained. I’m eternally grateful for you. And I’m sorry that I forced you to deal with more than you ever deserved.”

Dean could feel his eyes burning with unshed tears. His dad actually _apologized_ to him. Never did he ever imagine that being possible. Ever.

John then shifted his eyes over to the youngest Winchester. “And Sammy. I am so, so sorry. For everything. For getting so upset and angry with you when you just wanted to do fun, normal things. For kicking you out and not supporting you when you went to Stanford. I can’t even tell you how guilty I still feel for that. Kicking my baby boy out. Telling you to never come back. I’m still pissed at myself for it, and I’ll never forgive myself.

“But, I’m also sorry for not seeing you for you. I knew about the demon blood for a bit before I died. I was scared about what you could turn into. I never should have thought of you that way because you are the kindest and sweetest soul I know. And I should have never told your brother to kill you if he couldn’t save you.” His eyes quickly shifted to Dean, “I’m also sorry to you about that. I know that had to hurt like hell to carry around in your head, and I should have never said that to you.”

Their dad turned back to Sam. “And, son, I am so sorry for what I said to you earlier today. You are **not** a monster. Nowhere close. You had the world turned against you, yet you still never turned evil. You stayed, well, you.”

Their dad took another step forward, causing Dean to falter backwards some, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with his apparently shaking brother. 

John placed both of his hands firmly on their shoulders, looking between his two children. “I’m sorry for everything you two have been through. I never would have wished that for my two boys. But, you’ve both grown into brave, strong, amazing men.”

Dean was about to crumble. He couldn’t hold the waterworks back much longer. His composure was about to break apart any second. 

Finally, their dad muttered with every ounce of pride possible for a father to put into their voice, “I am unbelievably proud of you boys.”

That is what did it. Suddenly, Dean felt the wet, hot tears start streaming down his face as a gasp pushed through his lips. He heard sobbing coming from beside him. Obviously, his brother was doing just as well as him.

Dad said he was not just “proud” of them, but “unbelievably proud.” 

John Winchester had only told Dean he was proud of him a few times. Each time revolved around hunting. Like when he made his first sawed-off. Or when he finished his first successful hunt. 

But this….. this was different.

This wasn’t his dad being proud of what he did as a hunter, but of him. Of himself as a whole. Of who he had become. 

His father was finally proud of him.

He felt himself being pulled into what he soon realized was a group hug, He felt his father’s strong arm around him, and what must have been Sam’s shaky one around his other side. Dean raised his arms up and held on to both individuals with as much strength that he could muster. 

The tears continued to descend down his face. But, he really could care less. 

Their father apologized. He finally apologized for everything. 

Dean knew that this one apology didn’t excuse his father from everything he had done. It didn’t heal his stitched-together heart. But, it was a start. 

It was the beginning of healing for an age-old wound he and his brother had carried around for years. And he finally felt a slight weight lift off his chest. 

Dean turned his head slightly to look at Sam, whose face was covered in tears and snot from his sobbing. But, Dean noticed the change in his brother’s demeanor. In his body language. He looked relieved. Almost peaceful. 

“Time’s up.”

Their embrace ended quickly with the introduction of a new voice to their group. 

They pulled back and Dean whipped his eyes over to see Billie standing in the corner of the room. She stood tall, holding tight to her scythe. But, as Dean’s eyes moved to her face, he noticed she didn’t have on her trademark scowl. Instead, her face held a small smile. And her eyes were filled with approval. 

She spoke softly, saying, “It has been twenty-four hours. It’s time for John Winchester’s soul to be returned to heaven.”

Their father was staring at Death for a few seconds before nodding his head, turning back to face his sons. 

“This has been an actual gift for me. To see you both again. You two keep an eye on each other, ya hear?”

Both Winchester boys answered simultaneously, “Yes, sir.”

John’s lip twitched upwards. “I know those other two will also help keep you both outta trouble.”

Castiel spoke up, “Always.”

John looked over to him, then to Jack, a grateful smile on his face. 

Finally, he looked into both of his children’s eyes. “I love you both, so much.”

He then pulled them both into a strong embrace once again. Dean held on tightly, one lone tear escaping again. “I love you, too, Dad.”

They held on for a few seconds before they broke it off. Their father backed away, eyes raking over them one last time, a smile plastered across his face. He then turned and walked to stand right in front of Billie. 

“I’m ready.”

Suddenly, a bright light erupted, covering the entire room. Dean had to cover his eyes, it was so much. As quickly as it came, it ended. 

Billie still stood there, but their father was gone. Back to heaven.

“You both did well. You’re prepared, and with more time, you’ll be more than ready for what is to come. I’ll be back soon with the next steps for Jack. Until then, I’ll see you boys around.”

Then, Death was gone. 

The bunker was dead silent. 

It was too much for Dean, everything starting to catch up to him again. He felt the wetness in his eyes. Before he could do anything, he felt himself being yanked into his baby brother’s arms, who quickly started nuzzling his face into his older brother’s neck. Dean could feel the tears and shaky breathing as his brother let go.

So, Dean did, too.

Right in the middle of the library of their bunker, both Winchester brothers cried in each other’s arms.

But, Dean quickly realized that he had his brother by his side. Even with all of the crap that was still yet to come, he had him. He may have lost so much, but never him.

They would be okay.

Suddenly, he felt more arms wrap protectively around himself and Sam. Lifting his head slightly, he saw Castiel and Jack holding on to both of them. Their little family. Together as one.

They would _all_ be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for this story popped in my head because I kept thinking about episode 300 and all the things that weren't touched on or dealt with. I just felt there was so much still left unresolved between John and his boys. John Winchester has always been a character I have had mixed feelings about. On one hand, I disagree with how he did Sam and Dean, and just wanted him to fully realize how he hurt those two. But, at the same time, I recognized how he tried his best, and truly did care about his kids. I still think he could have done better, though.
> 
> Cue this little fic! I needed to get it all out. All I could remember when watching "Lebanon" was thinking: "What about everything you caused Dean to deal with?!?" and "How about knowing Sam had demon blood in him and telling Dean to kill him?!?" and "Cas would probably rip John apart for how he raised the guys!" 
> 
> I wanted John to answer for everything. And I wanted Sam and Dean to gain some peace after everything. 
> 
> Thank you all again for your love for this fic! I'm so happy so many have enjoyed it, and I truly hope you liked the conclusion. Thank you again!!! <3


End file.
